In hindisight, you can trace Buffy’s depression in season 6 back to this moment (and even to earlier episodes: definitely to Joyce’s death, and even in Spiral when she shuts down and decides she has already lost against Glory). Buffy’s depression was about much more than being torn out of heaven, and you can see why in this scene. A lot of people criticize season 6 for being too dark, but I feel that Buffy’s depression was one of best written arcs in the show.
#i actually think buffy’s depression was something she struggled with throughout the series #you can trace it all the way back to when she was killed by the master #but it probably started even earlier than that (via mindycollette)
#Also SMG’s physical performance in The Gift shows how relieved she was to be ending it. She doesn’t look overly frightened for someone who’s about to kill themselves she just looks like “I’ve got to do this. This is all I have left to do and then I’m done.” as though she’s relieved it’s over. She accepts her death pretty readily. It’s foreshadowed with the line “every slayer has a death wish”. Season 5 really felt like it was building up to her death in it’s entirety and there was closure on all fronts and then it was like “Oh no… you have to carry on now. There’s more. You’re not getting out of this.” and it reflects life in that way that it just carries on going even when you’re tired of it.
I never had a real house to grow up in. You know a home? I never belonged anywhere and all my life I was looking for that thing you know? Thinking that it was out there somewhere, thinking that all I had to do was find it.